I have yet to post any music that’s very heavy. Here’s an Amon Amarth album I wrote this to. I hadn’t heard it yet. It’s good. That is to say… It sounds just like the rest.
We live in the age of the information. You know this. I just needed an introductory paragraph. Anything we want to know is at our fingertips. Media is handed out freely by the very artists that shed blood, sweat, and tears, perfecting it. Entire movies, television series, books, comics, albums, and more can be streamed at will. You can learn to do anything you want with Google. You can be anyone you want, and there are an endless number of possible venues to host your internet persona.
I predict that mainstream media will fall by the wayside as technology moves forward. Redbox has already pushed the video stores out of existence. The movie theaters and bookstores will all close down. I can stream more movies than I can count on Netflix with the push of a button. I can download a PDF for less than half the price of the paper back version. I don’t own a Kindle or an iPad, but I imagine I will be forced to soon. If you’re an author you can self publish your work easier than you can get a publisher to do it for you. You won’t have any advertising that doesn’t come from your pocket. But just look at Jack Donovan‘s The Way of Men. He seems to be getting his name out there just fine. He has enough people mentioning his book, that I’m sure you’ve already picked it up.
We choose who and what we support. Gone are the days of the tube television offering a choice between this and that. Gone are the days of having no choice at all. And this is where I begin to judge.
The elderly, uneducated, and technologically-dumb get a free pass. I expect them to watch Dancing with the Stars. I expect them to watch Duck Dynasty. I realize that they will watch movies like The Dark Knight Rises and they will like it. Because they don’t know any better. Hell, let’s start there.
The final movie in Nolan’s Batman trilogy sucked. I’m not saying that it wasn’t good because no one died before it came out. I’m not saying that The Dark Knight is something it couldn’t have matched because ‘HEATH LEDGER!!!”. No. I’m saying it sucked. Compared to the first two it simply didn’t. They didn’t try hard enough. I left the theater confused.
The first two captured my imagination. I watched TDK more than 50 times. Easily. I’ll never watch the third again. Once through that train-wreck was enough. TDKR had the editing of a Troma film. The acting was forced. The story was shit. If you were one of the people that watched it and enjoyed it… I don’t know what to tell you other than I’m sorry. I’m not sorry if you’re offended. I’m sorry that you enjoy spending your money on a job done horribly.
Don’t recommend media like that to me. I won’t trust your opinion on the subject anymore. I’ll never take anything you recommend seriously.
I’ll also assume you liked The Avengers movies as well. And if you did… Dude… What the hell is wrong with you? They were terrible. Easily as bad, if not worse, than TDKR. If someone recommends a movie to me I ask them what they thought about these movies. I know from their answer if this next one will be worth my time. I might still check it out. But I’m going to be prepared to be letdown.
Now that I’ve only shown my disgust with comic book movies, I have to stop you before you say it. I do like comics. I’m a big fan of the Marvel-Max Punisher graphic novels. I was a big fan of The Walking Dead GNs too. Up until they decided we wanted to watch them rip the story apart. I think of this kid from Toy Story when I think of AMC’s version of TWD. I quit reading the comics. I figured that if they didn’t care about the story, I probably shouldn’t either.
“It’s mine. I’ll fuck it to Hell if I want! Deal bitches!”
I’ll back off of the movies for a moment, and talk shit about Destiny’s (only) Child. Jay-Z’s very own Super Bowl diva, Beyonce. I’m sure she’s a nice girl. One of the few black women I find attractive. I’m reaching for compliments to throw her way here.. because I’m pretty sure everyone is in agreement about her last years half-time show. It was blatantly fucking retarded. And if you think, not true… I assume you fall into the free pass category, or you yourself are in fact, blatantly fucking retarded. In which case you still get a free pass. You don’t get to play ball though. Go sit in a corner and watch the rest of us.
Since we’re there,and I’m about an inch away from digressing, let’s talk about the Super Bowl! I’m not a football fan. I almost got into it last year, but my home team sucks. It’s hard for me to root for losers. Besides, hockey is way more fun to watch. It’s hard to watch that in the South though. It’s also hard to watch anything when you don’t have cable…
Here’s a fun statistic that Americans are happy to shout about whenever the chance comes around.
“More Americans watched the Super Bowl than participated in the last presidential election.”
Oh Lord, how the mighty have fallen. Forgive them oh Lord. For they know not what they do.
The day after the Stupid Bowl is always the same.
“Didja watch the game bro?”
“Game? No. Who played and what were they playing?”
“… YOU DIDN’T WATCH THE SUPER BOWL?!!!!”
“No. I also didn’t like the goddamned Anvengers movies, and you wouldn’t believe what else I didn’t like. The last Batman movie.”
“MAN! You have to just watch it for the commercials! THE COMMERCIALS BRO!”
“… yeah. Commercials. The thing you bitch about having to watch the remaining 364 days a year.”
Cue shock. Cue words of sorrow for me and my lack of “culture”. Cue me still not knowing who played, let alone who won the damned thing. Life goes on, I guess.
Now I’m going to bring up Oldboy. A great film from South Korea. Like all things from that part of the world it gets a little weird when it comes to sex. Also like all films from South Korea, it’s not for old ladies. I love this movie. A. LOT. I bought a version with a negative frame from the original reel. I’m not a movie dude. If that’s not what it’s called, too bad. It’s still damned cool to me.
They’ve been kicking around the idea to make an American version for quite a while. I’m not going to watch it. It’s going to be terrible. How do I know? Because I’ve seen the original. Because it was rumored that they were shooting for Will Smith to play the leading role. That’s how I know.
If it’s not broken don’t fix it. I won’t even watch the dubbed version. It fucks the whole movie up the ass.
I know that I’m going to hear the retards talk about how great it is. I know they will have no knowledge of it’s origins. It’s going to irritate the piss out of me. I’m going to want them to know. I’m going to open my mouth and show them the error in their ways. I know it’s pointless. They honestly don’t care. If they wanted to know something, they’d do the research themselves.The majority of the consumers out there are perfectly happy being just another consumer. They ruin a good thing. They don’t want to. They just want to have a good time. They don’t know the joys of respect.
They also drink corn syrup by the gallons, and feed their children formula imported from China. They are afraid of fluoride in the water, as they hand their child a toy covered in lead paint. They don’t vote for their leaders. They vote for their next American Idol. They take their children to public schools, and wonder where they bought that bag of weed.
They’ll quit pissing themselves away when there is no Kool-Aid left to drink. And I’m going to think they’re retarded.